Black Friday is Murder

Here's to those who die this day, who soon shall breathe their last beneath the footfalls of the slathering, beast-like, obese consumers of this nation; who die, trampled to death, year in, year out, each Black Friday, a witness to America's naked greed; a justification to her enemies.

In mere hours human lives shall end, cut short in the pursuit of what need? What cause? Savings. Yes, in moments men will die for discounts. They will be killed for coupons. Awash beneath the blue of morning's first light, mindless mobs shall murder. Them less sure of foot shall fall and end.

So here's to those who stumble when the mall doors open, and here's a curse upon the heads of all the rest, who pushed and shoved and knew not, and cared not. May they die worse deaths, slower, still more meaningless, than those they kill this day.

May your savings rot and fall off.

'Brand New Day' from Dr. Horrible

Yep. I did another one from 'Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.' I'm a sucker for quick, tongue-twisting deliveries -- I couldn't resist.

This is my most successful performance to date, acting-wise. In fairness the role was written for me, so... BTW: is that not the best still capture ever? I look like a freaking madman. Awesome. Eat your heart out Heath Ledger.

'My Freeze Ray' from Dr. Horrible

[EDIT: The video here is not the original posted. It has been replaced with the "strong contender from the high seventies" mentioned below. For the moment I've decided I like this take slightly better.]

That's right girls, I'm doing musicals now! Get out the hot pants!

This is the first number from 'Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog.' It's absolutely brilliant, of course. It didn't really have a choice in the matter, being the progeny of Joss Whedon and crew. I'm not saying Joss Whedon is God or anything - because that would just be sacrilege - but I have noticed that you never seem to see the two of them in the same place at the same time, if you know what I mean.

Incidentally I did around ninety takes of this song before quitting; most abortive, but still... The one I used for the final cut came from somewhere in the fifties, though it was up against a strong contender from the high seventies. I'm still not certain I chose the better of the two. But cuts must be made!

I'm surprised how smooth my voice is in this register. For nine years of smoking I had no idea these dulcet tones were in me. There's the reason to quit! Fuck your health kids, quit smoking today: it'll increase your vocal range.

'Hopeless Bleak Despair' by TMBG

That's They Might By Giants to you. By the way...

On Mondays I never go to work. On Tuesdays I stay at home. On Wednesdays I never feel inclined; work is the last thing on my mind. On Thursdays it's a holiday and Fridays I detest. Oh it's much too late on a Saturday and Sunday's the day of rest! Oh no, no, I never go to work.