Impulse Buy

Well I've done it. I've actually spent money. I know... The God of the Jews is gonna be, like, so pissed!

Last week Brandon and I were slowly squeezing the life out of the day, listening to some of the hundred or so random songs and song-bits I've recorded over the past few years. He made the comment that I should 'release' an album comprised of these tunes online. By which, he explained, he meant that I should pack 'em into a collection and email them off to all my many friend. (<-- non-plural)

I let the idea roll off my back at first, but it must've got stuck in me bum-crack or somefing because a few days ago an ever-so-slightly mutated version of the idea came knocking on the sliding glass door - presumably exposed to a naturally occurring nuclear event, or 'NON-E' - suggesting I record an album based loosely around the mission statement: "Songs you might've once heard me play at a coffee shop and/or bar." Releasing it, of course, as per Brandon's instructions: Compressed, archived, and email'd ex-post-gratis in the nature of fraternity.

I've already got a title in mind as well as an album cover, and my list of potential songs is certainly long enough. But how to record them? Ah, there's the rub! For I've got an acoustic guitar with the highest, most finger-tip slicing, fret-buzzing action in all universes and dimensions both known and unknown in perpetuity; I've got a laptop with a perfectly viable DAW installed; I've got a box of XLR and 1/4" cables gathering dust; But I've got nothing in the way of recording devices: No microphones in storage, nor any media recorder that would accept them even if I had what I haven't got. What's to do? What's to do?

I know! I'll do...


...for $211! I'm a smarty every day, I am!

It's a hand-held 4-track digital recorder called the Zoom H4. It's got two condenser mics built in, as you can see, in XY configuration, and so can be used with the push of a button. And from what I've read, along with the sample tracks I've heard, those two little mics ain't none too shabby. But wait! There's more.

It also features two XLR-slash-1/4" inputs; Provides phantom power; Records to SD media; Connects via USB; Functions as a standalone multitrack studio; Can be used as a direct input to your DAW! It shreds vegetables and legumes in seconds with just the tap of a hand; Broils cured meats while sealing in the flavor; Tired of household odors? You just set it and...

How could I resist such a prolific audiophilic Ginsu knife? Who could possibly restrain themselves from purchasing what is clearly God's own Swiss Army knife of digital recording? Certainly not this guy! Not me, I'll tell you that much!

Anyway if it turns out to be a bad buy I can always just blame Brandon. First for putting it in my head to start recording again; second for leaving me sit here all day to perry this pernicious marketing pitch despite our plans to "hang out" and watch movies.

Who does that? You make plans and then you can't even be bothered to pick up the phone and say, "Nevermind." Even Kurt Cobain managed that, dude. Weak. Weak.

1 comment:

  1. I discern great potential in hanging a device like this from the ceiling as a live band plays in the basement. Great potential, indeed.